Ive been seeing quite a few posts lately and I am glad we are all staying active on here. Thank you all for following me and your kind words.
I saw my psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago to get help with my depression. She put me on a second med for my depression called Trileptal. This is an anti seizure med that is also commonly used as a "mood stabilizer". It seems to be helping me a bit. People at work have noticed I am more engaged and have been laughing. My son says I seem less stressed, and best of all I have not been spending my weekends crying and focusing on death. I am no longer going to bed at 7 pm. I wouldn't say it has made everything magically disappear but it has at least brought me out that dark hole I was in. I am grateful for that.
I had my 6 month radiation follow up and everything seems to be ok there so I don't have to return for a year! I do have my scan coming up in a few weeks though, and get results on March 7th. I have a bit of concern because I have been experiencing some body aching in my legs and arms so of course I jump to "has it spread"???
I started a weekly tai chi class for cancer patients/survivors a couple of weeks ago. It is offered for free through the hospital where I go to therapy. It is interesting to see how tense I really am. I can really tell the difference after I go to class. I hope with time that my body and mind will be trained to relax a bit.
Ive had some realizations about Matt too. Now that I have had time away from him I realize how toxic he was to have in my life. He brought deception, betrayal, anger, jealousy, dishonesty, you name it. I allowed him to do that for 5 years! I am working through figuring out why I allowed that in my life. For a while, I was so sad after our break up and almost took him back twice. Now though I realize it was just because I didn't want to be alone and that he really doesn't bring anything good to my life. I'm better off alone. I have enough to worry about already. I am not even looking to date anyone. I'm just trying to mentally get better for myself and my boys.
I am trying to decide if I want to join a cancer support group or not. It meets once a month. I would like to make some friends locally who can understand what we are going through and relate but at the same time I feel like maybe that is bringing too much cancer into my life. I go to a weekly cancer therapist, now weekly tai chi for cancer patients, so I'm not sure if I will be on cancer overload. What do you all think?
I hope you are all doing well and hanging in there. Each of our experiences are unique but I am grateful that we
I do think, just keep trying different things. You are very young, and have many options. Take your time, get invested with a cancer group.
I am going to one, but it's frustrating, because only once a month. We have no other connection, and they take up most of the time with relaxation. I like talking, getting to know and support, others.
I think like life, it just takes a fresh start, with people that have enough in common.
It sounds like you are single, now, which others don't understand the void: so be very, very kind to yourself, and follow your guts.
I should take my own advice.
Wow! You seem in a much better place then you were when you last posted. I am so glad that you have been put on a medication that is helping. I think a lot of times we take care of our bodies but forget about our mental well being. I hope you get good results from your scan!
Lint out that having a community of people you can speak to not only has emotional benefits, but physiological benefits as well.